^{Last night I was in a terrible accident! My Mum caught me swinging off the side of a chair. My claws were stuck in the material and I was hanging in mid-air and my back feet were dangling and swinging, dangling and swinging all over the show. My front paws were taking all the strain of my lithe body, mm.}

^{Actually I was laughing, I was trying to get at Harriet, my friend, to dab her. It was my karma I rekon, what comes around and all that malarkey.}

^{Anyway, my mum gave me a manicure and snipped the tips of my nails.}

^{Thank you for your concerns, but I am ok. Although I wouldn’t mind a get-well soon card please. Thank you. Pleese. I am listening to Bang Tango, mm.}

I am horrified! I am being tormented by dratted blackbirds in MY OWN GARDEN! This is absolutely appalling! This is dreadfully degrading for my street cred! Mm. Infact I will have to comfort myself with symbols I have found Ω∑‡ŁŒØ£¥®± I like this one best "Þ" because it makes me think of Pûnkass, mm.

I only went outside to enjoy a few rays of the sun and I sat there looking up at the beautiful blue sky. I happened upon a bush that I felt needed some checking out, so under I went to investigate, It was dark, mm. And not as exciting as I might have hoped.

All of a sudden there was a squawking from the skies, such a racket like you’ve never heard in your life, I’m sure. Yes, it went like this “chitturr chatturrr, rackitt”, mm.

I turned round and the pesky birds were all over the garden, dropping by to eat the hen food, well it’s my food, I like to have a nibble of this cuisine, I don’t mind telling you, no. I couldn’t have that, so I pounced at the cheeky blighters, mm. But they swooped at me! The audacity of them, they don’t appear to give a fish! As I walked round my garden they were following me and actively taunting me with their cheeps by tantilising me from all sorts of vantage points that they so cleverly can get to and that I cannot. And now my Mum has removed me from the garden.

I am rather perplexed by all this, how they are not fearing me so, mm. It’s not on and I must make a stand, yes, mm, but I’m not sure what to do or what to make of this whole affair. I will make the most out of a raw deal and plan my strategy inside, until I can escape again.