Cryogenic Fly with Leaf Side-Salad  Here is one of Pûnkass’ favourite recipes, he loves this one and is always delighted when I make this for his tea – infact it’s a sure-fire winner with everyone. It’s very quick and simple to prepare, especially when one is on the run and time is of a premium in these busy modern times that we find ourselves living in.   Take one bluebottle and find your local cryogenic service operators who will preserve the fly for you, complete with it’s full compliment of vitamins and minerals and no wastage whatsoever. Look at the quality of that fly, that i have taken a photo of for my recipe book, it could almost still be alive.   As a serving suggestion, you could place the cryogenic fly in the centre of a nice juicy green leaf full of delicious chlorophyll and serve. What could be simpler? You may like to sprinkle a little bit of organic sea-salt over it, but please do be careful not to over-do your daily quota, you don’t want to be getting high blood pressure and the like.   If you have loved ones across the other side of the world I've found that this is particularly nice to send to them as a present, in a pretty blue box with a ribbon on it. They will appreciate this I’m sure as my loved ones have.

	Special Recipe Butterfly Pie Mm doesn’t that look succulent? I am sure that after seeing this picture, you will all want to make one of these pies for yourself, yez.   Well I shall tell you how to make it, without further ado.   Ingredients   Butterflies Hot water crust pastry Little old lady   Method   To make your butterflies you will need to start blowing rainbow kisses like this at your loved one. If you don’t have a loved one, then you will just have to fantasise. Sometimes, this can be even better than reality. Mm. Purse your lips like this, I will demonstrate for you so that you will get it quite right.   2. So now you have your rainbow kisses, they will automatically, and magically transform into fresh butterflies that are just ripe for this pie and this occasion. These are special fantasy butterflies that means you don’t even have to go out storking, the real ones in the garden. No, you can stay in the comfort of your own home, mm. How much easier could this be? Well there is a tricky part but I will tell you that later, yes.   3. And on we go with the method. Well now we reach the tricky part and you will probably have to leave the comfort of your own home for this.  We need the fresh watercrust pastry. Perhaps you know a little old lady that lives down the road and makes her own? This will be handy, mm.     4. So, go to see the little old lady. Knock on her door with you right paw and when she opens the door, meow pitifully so that she will instantly be manipulated. Tell her that without the hot water crust pastry you will die. Advise her to don her pinny and make you some. You may want to take a special gift of a McFluff pinny for her, yes, you may even want to wear yours as you’re walking down the street to do some advertising for our band, mm. Thank ewe.    5. Now take the pastry that the little old lady has kindly made for your pie. And remember to thank her and promise to her that you will bring her a piece of the pie for her enjoyment when you have finished making it. It is good to remember our manners sometimes, yes, because you never know when you might want her to make you some more, so it’s best to keep her sweet. She will probably be worrying about you all day anyway, you’ll be playing on her mind somewhat.   6. Strut home with your pastry. 7. Don your pinny if you aren’t already wearing it and wash your paws. Remember my tips about the hijean in the kitchen. We must observe this at all times.Yez.   8. Put your pastry in the fridge for about 10-15 minutes, I find that this helps it to hold it’s shape during baking.   9. Ask the butterflies that are still flying merrily around your kitchen (hopefully you remembered to shut your window before you went out for security purposed, so they will still be in there) and ask them politely if they would fly into your pastry. They are usually most obliging I have found.   We will skip the gory parts because this would be in poor taste, but I am sure you know what to do next (clue: it rhymes with mash)   10. Your pie is now in a dish, ready to put in the oven. You may want to brush the top with a little bit of beaten organic egg so that it goes the colour of a golden labrador when it is cooked.   11. It usually takes about 240 meows at 425r and then you will need to lower the over to 350f for a further 960 meows.   12 During this time you may want to put your feet up and have a nice cup of tea whilst you are waiting for it to bake. You deserve it after all that hard work.   13. When it is ready you must leave it to cool for 240 meows, you wouldn’t want to burn your tongue would you, no. Blow one last rainbow kiss so that you have a butterfly to garnish your pie with. This is the professional way to make your dish look attractive. Perhaps you have already got the hang of this cooking lark and wittingly kept one aside before you put the rest in the pie?   14. And there you have it, butterfly pie. Perhaps you will invite your friends round to share a slice or two with you. And don’t forget to take the little old lady a piece, I am sure she will enjoy it. You can advise her that the nutritional content is second to none and that it will be nourishing for her bones.   TSK!   And would you look at the ingratitude of Pûnkass one morning after a heavy night on the town! A beautiful peace of Butterfly Pie I’d made him and he wouldn’t wake up, no! Jake was on hand though to make sure that none of it went to waste.

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