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| Oh! It's me and Punkass, I have my matronly look on my face |
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For your web browsing delight whilst you read all about us we’ve included this beautiful catchy ditty
by none other than the
Backseat Superstars.
Punkass’
Dad is in this delightful band and Punkass taught him all he knows I’m quite sure. I feel that they would have been
better known as the backseat supper stars, but they've made their decision and fate will take them where they are meant to
be.
Anyway,
if you aren’t one to appreciate this jolly din aptly called Love Story you may of course switch it off if you have the
know-how and wherewithal.
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"Any
attention is good attention, mm"
My full name is Ellie Bellie Doo Dah Day – Doo Doris Doo Doris. I am 6 years old now, so my boyfriend
Punkass is my toy boy. I live in Trout Town, Salmonshire in the UK.
When I am sweet, I am very very sweet. I can sometimes be bossy because of my poor start
in life. I was cat-napped by the cat protection team of the unsociable services for cats and taken away from my mother at
four weeks old because we were all running wild partying in this factory. I got taken to this foster home and had this blummin
syringe full of milk stuck down my throat for a couple of weeks, lots of cuddles to get me used to my new slaves and then
this dish of meat stuck in front of me a couple of weeks after that. Not so much as ‘how’s the weaning process
going Ellie Bellie?’. But nevermind, I stayed at the foster home because I am so fabulous that they couldn’t bear
to re-home me. Yes, thank you. So, I am mentally scarred for life.
Because of my unfortunate start in life I am overcome with this dreadful addiction to
run up to the nearest person and start suckling on their jumper, I can’t fight it. I run to my slave (any old human
will do, I train them very well thank you) and then I look all sweet and innocent manipulating them with my eyes, and start
chewing on their jumpers, leaving slobbery wet patches haha!
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| Here I am recalling my youth |
As if this wasn’t enough I have had problems with my balance since I was a kit,
the vet said it was my spine, I’m not so sure - it might be due to too much of the old nip, that I like to
indulge in every now and then. So when I’m walking around pretending to be very mean, my back legs give way and I wobble.
I’m a pussy-cat really, I would swipe the odd fly if I can get it and the odd mouse or rat, but I rarely swipe the hand
that feeds, mm, know.
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| Yes, it's true, I am an angel |
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Pūnkass is doing a very handsome job of providing me with unconditional love. I sometimes
feel a little sorry for him because I can be rather bossy at times, but that’s by the by, he says that it’s character
building for him, mm.
InteresTs and Hobbies
Flower arranging, thank you for inquiring about my interests and here are some of my hobbies in more detail, mm. I am a very good cook and enjoy pottering around in the kitchen, whilst having a trill to ditty's such as this one playing by the Backseat Superstars and of course the Darkness. I sometimes even have a little dance whilst stirring my concoctions. Yes, my cat nip pie
recipe is a very famous one, thank you, but it's a closely guarded secret I'm afraid. I do a little modelling when funds are
tight and am renowned for my entrepreunership skills, never one to miss an opportunity, no, I'm always there on the ball.
Yes I like playing football with rolled up pieces of tin foil especially, I'm very good at that too, yez.
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Of course singing in our fake punk rock band McFluff is one of my favourite past-times, mm, this is very enjoyable. I like to do a bit of housework for my Mum, tidying mostly,
anything that is not needed on a surface I will knock to it's rightful place on the floor, yez.
I also like bird watching of the feathered variety and rat catching too, mm.
And where would I be without my puter?
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| Here I am on my computer looking at Punkass |
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Pūnkass aged 4 and ¾
"I am a fighter /
Viking / part-time mime / jumper / rockstar / clog-dancer / horse-whisperer / lover / hammond organ player but
not a writer"
My people told me they found
me in aisle 5 of the Toys R Us store. They said that they felt sorry for me and brought me home.
I am a gray and white striped tabby with really big fangs. Huge scary fangs.
I have many special talents but I am mostly known for my ability to curl up in a ball like a potato bug and for causing mayhem
and disharmony wherever I go. I live for a good ruckus.
This
is me before I started working out.
At my parties the first one who passes out gets punk'd. Unfortunately,
it's usually me.
Here
I am on Spring Break in Miami.
First off, If you really want to get
to know me, let me dispell some rumors that are floating around out there about creatures like myself.
MYTH:
Cats eyes shine at night because they are casting out the light they gather during the day.
TRUTH: Total bunk!
How can I gather daylight when I'm sleeping all day? Huh?
MYTH: Stepping over a cat brings bad luck.
TRUTH: It's
worse than that. It exposes your most vulnerable parts if you miss and step on me.
MYTH: Cats always land on their
feet.
TRUTH: Oh yeah? Then how'd I get these lumps on my head?
MYTH: When a cat's whiskers droop, it's
going to rain.
TRUTH: When my whiskers droop, it means it's already raining and I'm wet.
MYTH: To keep a cat from
straying, put butter on its paws.
TRUTH: I won't stray because no one's here to open the door. Just try putting butter
on my paws. Do you reaaallly want to try and put butter on my paws ??? **evil grin** heh heh
MYTH: A cat has nine
lives.
TRUTH: Well, okay, this one's true! I have one can of it right here in front of me, it's beef, and I know there's
at least two more four-packs behind that cabinet door. But it's not the brand of choice for all cats, though.
INterests
I used to like chasing bugs and ripping tails off lizards; sitting on newspapers; streaking;
free-for-all's; pandemonium; antagonizing other cats; participating in hullabaloo's and tomfoolery; practicing my Matrix moves;
web surfing; licking cheeze whiz from the can but now my only interest is spending time making dream pottery, singing songs,
and frolicking with with my new love the stunning Guardian of de Marshall
and musical prodigy lead singer of the band McFluff
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